I would go back to the friend who recommended them- I would want them to give me some tips based on their working relationship….. for instance it might be that phoning at 8am is the trick to catching him and getting things done. I would also want the friend to have a word along the lines of - I have recommended you, you are now making me look bad, sort it out.

I would also try to better Understand why the builder refers to your house as a nightmare. Is it that there is a complication that is beyond his skill set, is it that he is now letting down future clients because of delays on yours or is it his own stress and unrelated to your house. I think it’s best to understand the issue to know what to do.

Then you have to be firm where necessary and pragmatic about other things- so he is not your friend he is an employee and you expect him to turn up to work- but pragmatically you would rather hang on for skilled Labour understanding that although the wait is inconvenient the finish and cost will be better than pressuring him to take on jobs that are not his forte….. I had a situation in a previous house- I missed the booked slot with the tiler, after some pressure from me the builder reluctantly took it on but took lots longer than a tiler would have done, it diverted him from jobs he could do quickly and I paid more because it took a long time plus the finish could have been done better.

My brother is a builder and he would never treat his clients like this. He sometimes forgets to return a call simply because he has so much work and things get forgotten, but I just don’t know if yours deserves so many chances. In fact he sounds like he is trying to avoid you. Such a shame and you deserve better.

Nightmare. If you're not out of pocket ££ wise (payed up front ) call him tell him take all tools off site. That will either kick him into gear or just find another builder. He's obviously taking on jobs & trying to juggle clients imo.

Don’t sack this builder off lightly. Firstly most builders at the moment are booked up for months so you may have a very long wait.
Secondly most builders don’t like taking over someone else’s job and may be reluctant and this could also cost you more.
You also need to expect that builders all talk and if you damage your reputation by treating him in a way that he perceives to be unfair his gossip might make finding another builder difficult.

Thank you all for your advice. On the payment front, we’ve paid about 3/4 as our schedule was to pay a set sum every Friday. However they’re very behind so we have “overpaid”. The contractor said we had paid too much and that we shouldn’t pay weekly anymore so I don’t feel too worried on that front.

I have messaged the friend who recommended him (thanks Jonathan!) and asked if he had any tips for getting through to the builder as we are feeling ignored and anxious.

One thing he did say when we had a very brief conversation last week was that “if we wanted to find someone else to finish the job then they would refund us for the work not done”. Absolutely not in my interest to find another builder/fall out with him. So I don’t want to push too hard but I just feel really sad about the lack of respect and also want to move home..!

Hi Olivia - I feel for you and understand the frustration. In working relationships communication plays a big role and sometimes things can get misinterpreted.

I would suggest - if not done already - some assertiveness-led discussion, as in the example provided by colourhappy, can make a difference.

Provide specific examples, such as "when I texted/called you and my calls/text were not returned I felt....", or "the delays to our project is causing us ...." - in other words, use direct language that does not leave any doubt to the recipient that this is inconveniencing you and your partner.

Hope this helps.

I’d ask for a site meeting, with a view to trying to organise completion of works.
As you and partner are both female (sorry, builders, but many of you still have a bit of an outdated attitude towards women!) it might be worth having a trusted male friend who has building knowledge, or even your original architect there, too. Ask why your place is proving a ‘nightmare’; it could well be availability of materials. I had Hell’s own job getting cement for weeks and had holes in the solid floor/screed all over my home as I had alterations done.
It may be that you could help yourselves by acquiring materials (you’ll have more time for sourcing) although it may increase costs a bit. Then negotiate a restart to the works with a view to completion within a better and more structured time frame. My bet is, he’s under the cosh with his workload. Seems like one house in three is having work done these days.
Good luck

At the end of the day communication is key in any works being undertaken. Pin the builder down to a site meeting, discuss your concerns, work out a plan on moving forward and find out why he's not been at yours completing works. It may be they are juggling plates having more than one job on the go and they are trying to keep everybody happy but not realising the stresses that they are causing their clients by not being on site. once you get an understanding of what they are dealing with it may help with any issues you have with them. Also make it clear that you do not want to be messed around, you are the customer and they are providing a service you are paying for! You want the work completed as he is a recommendation and trust them to deliver.

How did everything go with this in the end @Olivia Ritchie? Hope your experience moving forward was to your satisfaction. x