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Four men are in a hospital waiting room while their wives are giving birth.
A nurse approaches the first man and says, "Congratulations! You're the father of twins.
He replies,"That's odd. l work for the Minnesota Twins.
The second man is told that he is the father of triplets. He says, "What a coincidence. I work for 3M."
The third man is told that his wife gave birth to quadruplets. He says, "How strange. I work for the Four Seasons."
The fourth man is banging his head against a wall.
The other three fathers ask him what's wrong.
The fourth man says, "OMG! I work for 7-Up."
Lovely home, but I'm not sure I would have installed the doorbell that way up...
Was the name of the paint on outside of house ever mentioned? Maybe I missed it? I would love to know the color if any one heard it mentioned.
Male patient said, "Doctor, my girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the cond*m never broke. How is it possible?"
The doctor replied, "Let me tell you a story. There once was a hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took his umbrella instead of his gun when he went out. A lion suddenly jumped in front of him. In order to scare the lion, the hunter used the umbrella like a gun, shot the lion and it died!"
Male patient said, "Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the lion.
The doctor replied, "Good! You understood the story. Next patient, please."
One minute you're young and fun. The next, you're turning down the radio in your car so you can see better.
tj
I was today years old when I realised that the text size of little kids' books are large for our benefit not theirs.
I finally got to see my doctor on Monday and I showed him the rash on my bottom but he just ignored me and kept pushing his cart through Costco.
tj
A poor woman called a radio station asking God for help.
An arrogant, wealthy atheist heard her and decided to mock her. He bought a huge amount of groceries and told his secretary to deliver them. He gave her one instruction, "If she asks who sent them, tell her they came from the devil."
When the groceries arrived, the woman was overjoyed and started putting everything away.
The secretary asked, "Don't you want to know who sent all this?"
The woman smiled and said, "Oh, there's no need. I don't care who sent it. When God gives an order, even the devil has to obey!"
Here's an oldie! The one above from @roxsolid made me think of it.
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walked in to blood donation clinic.
The nursed asked the rabbit: "What is your blood type?"
"I am probably a type O" said the rabbit.
This is going to sound just awful, but we are going to be married 50 years in two more weeks.
We were watching "You Bet Your Life" on television, when DH said that he thought we should get married. I never did find out what the secret word was. (for Groucho fans).
I just received these from my MIL. My first cat gift since switching to team cat.
Cloe meanwhile further down the cabinet….
Great minds think alike
@petalique, I think the more correct term is ”assemblage art”. I knew “repurposed“ didn’t seem right when I posted earlier. I’ve always been a fan and have pieces inside and out. Here’s a couple more.
Gladys the Preying Mantis.
Tesla Pistol
A toilet bowl float Fish used for a Wren’s nest
