10 Secrets to Successfully Doing Up a House Together
Learn how to put your stamp on a property while avoiding unnecessary altercations
Laura Wheat
25 January 2024
Houzz UK Contributor. Freelance Journalist and interiors obsessive, newly ensconced in a handsome Edwardian semi on top of a hill.
Houzz UK Contributor. Freelance Journalist and interiors obsessive, newly ensconced... More
They say moving house is one of the most stressful experiences you can encounter in life; clearly ‘they’ haven’t attempted a joint renovation project. Throw dust, decision-making and the absence of a working toilet into the mix and you have a recipe for run-ins.
However, there’s something remarkably satisfying about completing a project together: you can craft a home that’s exactly how you want it to be. And the memories you’re left with will keep you laughing long after the builders have left.
Here are 10 tips to help you maintain a harmonious (albeit half-finished) home.
However, there’s something remarkably satisfying about completing a project together: you can craft a home that’s exactly how you want it to be. And the memories you’re left with will keep you laughing long after the builders have left.
Here are 10 tips to help you maintain a harmonious (albeit half-finished) home.
Find photos that illustrate your point
It’s much easier to show your partner a photo that depicts what you’re imagining for a space, rather than relying on descriptive powers alone. Create a shared ideabook on Houzz and you can both input inspiring pictures – like this lovely bedroom by interior designers Homewings – as well as using it to find and collaborate with your architect/designer/build teams, so everyone can see exactly what you’re aiming for (once you and your partner have agreed which ones to keep and which to delete, of course…).
Plus, once something’s made/painted/bought and they claim not to like it, you have irrefutable evidence that it looks just like the picture. Boom!
It’s much easier to show your partner a photo that depicts what you’re imagining for a space, rather than relying on descriptive powers alone. Create a shared ideabook on Houzz and you can both input inspiring pictures – like this lovely bedroom by interior designers Homewings – as well as using it to find and collaborate with your architect/designer/build teams, so everyone can see exactly what you’re aiming for (once you and your partner have agreed which ones to keep and which to delete, of course…).
Plus, once something’s made/painted/bought and they claim not to like it, you have irrefutable evidence that it looks just like the picture. Boom!
Prioritise and plan by season
There’s no point pushing to get the spare room decorated during the summer if the windows desperately need painting before it turns cold and bigger projects, such as a new kitchen, may be more bearable to live through while the weather is warmer.
Try to plan jobs in a sensible order, based on the season, rather than each other’s personal desire to see a particular task completed immediately. Bargaining skills akin to hostage negotiation may prove advantageous.
More: How to Curate Ideas for Your Kitchen Project
There’s no point pushing to get the spare room decorated during the summer if the windows desperately need painting before it turns cold and bigger projects, such as a new kitchen, may be more bearable to live through while the weather is warmer.
Try to plan jobs in a sensible order, based on the season, rather than each other’s personal desire to see a particular task completed immediately. Bargaining skills akin to hostage negotiation may prove advantageous.
More: How to Curate Ideas for Your Kitchen Project
Believe ‘done’ is better than ‘perfect’
When undertaking a home project, don’t get waylaid by insignificant details. Perhaps your partner’s ‘cutting in’ isn’t quite up to your scrupulous standards, but progress beats perfection in most cases. You’ll soon forget to sulk about the ceiling when you’re kicking back with G&Ts in the fantastic new room you’ve created together.
Find brilliant painters and decorators on Houzz.
When undertaking a home project, don’t get waylaid by insignificant details. Perhaps your partner’s ‘cutting in’ isn’t quite up to your scrupulous standards, but progress beats perfection in most cases. You’ll soon forget to sulk about the ceiling when you’re kicking back with G&Ts in the fantastic new room you’ve created together.
Find brilliant painters and decorators on Houzz.
Don’t be a decor bore
There’s nothing worse than getting saddled with an over-enthusiastic keen bean who won’t stop talking about house stuff. Even the most patient and proactive of us needs a break from the onslaught of decisions and general decoration discussion that goes along with home renovation. Think before you speak and save that ‘great idea’ until your partner’s out of the shower.
There’s nothing worse than getting saddled with an over-enthusiastic keen bean who won’t stop talking about house stuff. Even the most patient and proactive of us needs a break from the onslaught of decisions and general decoration discussion that goes along with home renovation. Think before you speak and save that ‘great idea’ until your partner’s out of the shower.
Tackle one job at a time
Warning: living with every room in a state of upheaval may turn you into an embittered husk of your former self. Finish one space entirely before moving onto the next, rather than trying to manage multiple projects simultaneously.
This will prevent you from growing resentful over your partner’s over-enthusiastic planning and help to foster a shared sense of achievement.
Warning: living with every room in a state of upheaval may turn you into an embittered husk of your former self. Finish one space entirely before moving onto the next, rather than trying to manage multiple projects simultaneously.
This will prevent you from growing resentful over your partner’s over-enthusiastic planning and help to foster a shared sense of achievement.
Do proper swatches
What your other half terms ‘baby poo green’ may in fact be the greige neutral of dreams, but a small, wishy-washy patch boshed on top of existing paint won’t win over doubters.
Paint swatches are best done on a white background, in large squares, with several coats of paint and on multiple walls. This will also mean you have ready-made swatches to show to a designer if it’s part of a full-room revamp.
Let this image of a workspace hung with fabric samples, created by Owl Design, remind you of your methodical goal.
What your other half terms ‘baby poo green’ may in fact be the greige neutral of dreams, but a small, wishy-washy patch boshed on top of existing paint won’t win over doubters.
Paint swatches are best done on a white background, in large squares, with several coats of paint and on multiple walls. This will also mean you have ready-made swatches to show to a designer if it’s part of a full-room revamp.
Let this image of a workspace hung with fabric samples, created by Owl Design, remind you of your methodical goal.
Divide and conquer
Make a (manageable) list of tasks requiring attention and assign them between you based on skill set, time available and patience level. For example, you might be driven to breaking point by an online kitchen planner, while your partner finds the software totally tolerable.
If in doubt, take one for the team – that vaguely boring job will bag brownie points that you can stash (ready to rub in your OH’s face later).
Make a (manageable) list of tasks requiring attention and assign them between you based on skill set, time available and patience level. For example, you might be driven to breaking point by an online kitchen planner, while your partner finds the software totally tolerable.
If in doubt, take one for the team – that vaguely boring job will bag brownie points that you can stash (ready to rub in your OH’s face later).
View in person
Yes, it’s an effort to travel to see potential purchases in the flesh, but it’s so much easier for the two of you to judge a piece after having a proper look and feel. Although delivery of big-ticket items is sometimes free, returns are often not – plus giant boxes cluttering up an already chaotic environment have been known to promote divorce.
Best to view in person, but then either order online or pass the details to your designer to order for you. That way, you benefit from distance selling regulations, meaning returns are sometimes allowed even on bespoke items (such as sofas).
Yes, it’s an effort to travel to see potential purchases in the flesh, but it’s so much easier for the two of you to judge a piece after having a proper look and feel. Although delivery of big-ticket items is sometimes free, returns are often not – plus giant boxes cluttering up an already chaotic environment have been known to promote divorce.
Best to view in person, but then either order online or pass the details to your designer to order for you. That way, you benefit from distance selling regulations, meaning returns are sometimes allowed even on bespoke items (such as sofas).
Know your limits
When it comes to home renovation, it’s important to recognise when a task is too technical for either of you to attempt. However, if your partner is the over-confident type, he or she might take some convincing that a tool belt does not a builder make.
Try to be tactful when suggesting you call in a professional for a quote – ensure they’re involved in the conversation about how involved the job is. Hopefully, the degree of difficulty will become alarmingly apparent.
A professional decorator or designer will also be a fount of clever ideas neither of you may have thought of – which are worth their weight in budget allocation.
When it comes to home renovation, it’s important to recognise when a task is too technical for either of you to attempt. However, if your partner is the over-confident type, he or she might take some convincing that a tool belt does not a builder make.
Try to be tactful when suggesting you call in a professional for a quote – ensure they’re involved in the conversation about how involved the job is. Hopefully, the degree of difficulty will become alarmingly apparent.
A professional decorator or designer will also be a fount of clever ideas neither of you may have thought of – which are worth their weight in budget allocation.
Venture into the garden
Don’t neglect your outside space. A little time invested now will pay dividends in terms of creating a restful and attractive outdoor area to enjoy together in summer. The garden could also offer unfamiliar freedom for couples with diametrically opposed decor ideas. Perhaps each of you can have assigned areas – indoor and outdoor – to oversee.
You may even find that managing linked but separate projects may – in the same vein as the Scandinavian trend for separate duvets – bring you (and your creative ideas) closer together.
More: What Happens When You Hire a Garden Designer?
Tell us…
What renovation disagreements have you had? Confess all in the Comments.
Don’t neglect your outside space. A little time invested now will pay dividends in terms of creating a restful and attractive outdoor area to enjoy together in summer. The garden could also offer unfamiliar freedom for couples with diametrically opposed decor ideas. Perhaps each of you can have assigned areas – indoor and outdoor – to oversee.
You may even find that managing linked but separate projects may – in the same vein as the Scandinavian trend for separate duvets – bring you (and your creative ideas) closer together.
More: What Happens When You Hire a Garden Designer?
Tell us…
What renovation disagreements have you had? Confess all in the Comments.
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If one member of the couple is a perfectionist, it might be better to buy a new house than to remodel the one you’re living in. I know a couple who decided to build a new house since they couldn’t find one on the market they liked. Years later they said they wished they had kept looking for a house to buy because several came on the market later that they would have been perfect!
They loved the house they built but every time something came up that they wished they had done differently, they blamed themselves for not thinking about that while building! They said it would have been so much much better to be able to blame whoever built the house they bought! LOL
As a Designer, owner of Sinclair Slone Design, and a home owner, I've been on both sides of a renovation. Having renovated 2 homes, and been in tears, I can relate to my clients frustrations when they arise. But I always tell new/potential clients the same thing: "it's exciting in the beginning, you'll love it in the end, but be prepared for frustration in the middle". It sets them up for reality but to keep the end goal in mind.
Haha, I can totally relate to the cutting in comments - it Must Be Done Properly! And I'm guilty of being The Only One Who Can Do It..... I am also guilty of making my husband's head swirl with all my new ideas and then being surprised when he can't remember them all or remember when I've moved on to something else! We are currently in the middle of a remodel and this article contained some great reminders for (mostly) me!