feeling overwhelmed

3 years ago

I'm struggling to focus or achieve even small things in our new house as there's so much we want to do, I don't know where to start.
It was a difficult move, we didn't want to leave our old house but had to due to the school catchments. We all miss our old house, street and neighbours. Also had family bereavement 6 days before the move so it was all very traumatic, along with lockdown and a long cold winter we have struggled to settle.
We've been here 5 months now and have only managed to change a couple of lightshades. We're lucky enough to have a good sum of money so we can plan for an extension and new kitchen plus garage conversion to accommodate downstairs bathroom. But we're at the start of those plans and I can't seem to focus on any decisions. I'm constantly looking at kitchens online but don't know what style I like, we should be looking at bathrooms but I can't face it. We'd promised the kids (9&5) that's we'd decorate their bedrooms first but that requires electrician, plasterer and underfloor insulation so feels a bit overwhelming too.
The garden is also going to need about £5k of remedial work as requires french drains to improve waterlogged. This is a massive heartache for us as we left behind a gorgeous garden at our old house and this one just doesn't live up.
The front of house is also depressing, so dated and miserable, driveway is grotty, the kids call it the ugly house:-( so thinking about giving some budget to a new porch but can't work out whether to prioritise or park that idea.
architect coming for second visit to measure up and survey tomorrow.......just feel like turning him away as not sure I'm ready..
Has anyone else felt this way in a new house? Did you feel OK once you started making progress or did you feel you rushed things and should have let things settle for longer?
Thanks for reading, just needed it off my chest I think.

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Comments (11)

Chartwell 19
3 years ago
Aww Ruth sounds like you have had a packet. Just keep taking little steps, and lots of little steps soon add up!
I'd start with the kids rooms, they are both old enough to enjoy putting their mark on their bedrooms. My favourite childhood memories are helping my parents do up my bedroom, and I think as soon as you get out and start looking at paint/wallpaper/ flooring options etc, you'll start to get some enthusiasm back.
And if nothing else, go out and get yourself some bunches of daffodils and put them all in a big vase. They'll create a massive riot of sunshiny yellow...
Sarah U-S
3 years ago
Moving is one of the most stressful experiences ever, and combine that with everything else that you’ve been through, and the dreaded Covid pandemic, then I reckon you’re doing brilliantly! Your number one priority is to be kind to yourself.

We see houses on websites like this and on Instagram, and there’s so much pressure to have the “perfect” place - but that isn’t real life! I loved my house when I bought it, but the reality was that every room needed work. We took our time, and now 14 years later, we’re pretty much there. When we moved in we started with relatively minor changes - had the bedrooms painted etc. We then moved on to our kitchen extension and then on to smaller projects. I had a long list of things that I wanted doing, but then prioritised.

You say that you have a good budget for all your work - it might be worth spending a small amount of that on a concept planner or designer to give you some ideas. (There seem to be a few on here). They can also help you to think about your priority list and help you to put a plan together.

Good luck!
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Ruth House
Original Author
3 years ago
chartwell 19, thanks so much for your comment, such kind words and great advice. I think you're right about the kids rooms, they've already decided themes but we're finding it hard to get motivated. The sun distracted us this weekend and although we relaxed we didn't 'achieve' anything. Will try to make a start clearing one room next weekend.

and good call on the flowers, definitely needs cheering up in here!

thanks again for taking the time to reply.
Ruth House
Original Author
3 years ago
Thanks Sarah, yep I've got a bit addicted to this site as a way to escape the miserable house we're in but you're right it's not always realistic and I don't think it's always helped me. I'm desperate for the shops to reopen, maybe visiting showrooms to view kitchens that I can actually have might help to focus us a bit. Roll on 12th April!
Tania Scott
3 years ago
It's a crappy year for sorting a house. I'm in Scotland and our present lockdown isn't allowing tradesmen in so all our redecoration has stalled too.
Take your time. Go online and buy a load of funky posters to put in frames for the kids (superheroes, whatever they're into). Stick them up on the walls, buy some jazzy bedlinen and you have a temporary redecoration.
Buy some pretty flowers in pots for the outside, another quick, cheerful fix.
Take your time on the renovation plans. Better to get things right first time.
Goid luck, you'll get there!
Sonia
3 years ago
I feel your pain Ruth. Moving house when you didn’t really want to and your bereavement plus covid would have tested even the strongest of people. When I moved in to my house I cried, the house was so grubby and needed so much work, but now many years later I love my little house. When we moved in, we decorated and carpeted the bedrooms first so we had a haven away from the mess. The bathroom was next. I’m thinking a designer or concept planner would possibly help you, if you feel up to it? However that can be added pressure, so only do that if you’re ready. What you can do is save photos from Houzz and Pinterest that you like and can refer back to. Gardens aren’t looking much at the moment, but in another months time when the bulbs are out and cherry blossom is flowering you’re garden may look very different? Along with the daffodils, get some multicoloured tulips, they cheer up any room. Wishing you lots of luck, and if you feel you need advice on a room, just ask. That’s what we are here for. 💗
Ruth House
Original Author
3 years ago
thank you so much tania and Sonia, such great tips....I really needed it this evening to stop me drowning in a bit of panic over it all. Will implement some of these ideas for sure....starting with flowers tomorrow. need to clear the youngest bedroom next weekend....I thought we'd cleared put all the old toys before we packed the old house but toys just seem to multiply don't they? we've had Xmas since but he's not slept in his own room yet so it's a bit of a dumping ground. He's slept in with his sister since the first lockdown so after almost a year it's going to take a bit of nifty decorating to persuade him into his own room!
Juliet Docherty
3 years ago
I feel your pain and can relate a bit. We have had to move for schools and live in an area where houses are overpriced and a bit ugly. I also know the feeling of being overwhelmed and wondering where to start. Why don't you post some photos, even if it's ugly, it can always get a makeover and you will feel better when you get some good advice. Doing the children's rooms first is probably a good idea, that's what I did.
Ruth House
Original Author
3 years ago
So as I by magic I didn't need to buy myself flowers to cheer me up because I was given these at work today! As a thank you for all my hard work running the covid testing centre at my school....and a bit of a sweetener because we have to do mass testing of all students when they return next week!

It won't be fun but it certainly has cheered up the kitchen.

oh and I took the shot so you can see my delightful kitchen tiles and therefore understand why a new kitchen is on the agenda!
Jeannette C
3 years ago
Beautiful flowers, lovely colours. Just take one step at a time. We've also had the experience of moving house when we didn't want to (involved immigration) :(
But you can slowly make you new home lovable.
I love my house now, even tho it's the second after moving country. 😥
Sonia
3 years ago
Those flowers are lovely Ruth. Well deserved! You do have a lot on your plate. Those tiles are very, erm, retro 😂😂

feeling overwhelmed

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Chartwell 19

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